Social Stories: What They Are and How to Write One
A new situation, an unfamiliar place, a skill that has not clicked — for an autistic or anxious child, the unknown can be overwhelming. A social story is a simple, personalised tool that turns “what will happen?” into something concrete and reassuring.
A new situation, an unfamiliar place, a skill that just has not clicked yet — for an autistic or anxious child, the unknown can be genuinely overwhelming. A social story is a simple, personalised tool that turns the worrying question “what will happen?” into something concrete, predictable and reassuring. They are easy to make at home, and once you understand the idea you can write one for almost any tricky moment. Here is what they are and how to write a good one.
What a social story is
A social story is a short, simple, personalised story that describes a situation, skill or event from the child’s own perspective. It gently explains what will happen, what other people might do or feel, and what the child can do or expect. The idea comes from Carol Gray, and it is widely used to prepare autistic children for new or tricky situations and to teach social understanding. The key is that it is calm, accurate, and written for one specific child rather than children in general.
What they help with
- Preparing for new events, changes or transitions — a new school, a trip, a house move.
- Teaching social skills and what is expected in a particular situation.
- Reducing anxiety about the unknown by making it predictable in advance.
- Explaining the “why” behind a rule or expectation in a kind, clear way.
How to write a social story
Keep it short and simple, in language your child understands. Write in the first person — “When I go to the dentist…” — and in the present or future tense. Be positive and reassuring, describe far more than you direct (mostly “what happens” and “what I can do,” not a list of commands), and keep everything true and accurate — never promise something that might not happen. Add photos or pictures, and use your child’s name and real details. Then read it calmly, several times, in the days leading up to the event.
A simple structure
A social story usually weaves together a few kinds of sentence: descriptive ones (“At the dentist, I sit in a big chair that goes up and down”), perspective ones (“The dentist wants to help keep my teeth healthy”), and the occasional gentle coaching one (“I can hold a fidget and take slow breaths”). The balance leans heavily toward describing and explaining, with only a little direct instruction, so the story informs and reassures your child rather than simply telling them what to do.
When to use one
Social stories suit almost any new or worrying situation: a first day at a new school, a dentist or doctor visit, a haircut, learning to wait or take turns, a new sibling arriving, a holiday, a fire drill, or a change to the usual routine. Anywhere a child would benefit from knowing in advance exactly what will happen and what they can do about it, a short social story can take a lot of the fear away.
Tips that make them work
- Read it calmly and repeatedly before the event, not just once.
- Involve your child in making it where you can — drawing, choosing photos, adding ideas.
- Keep the tone warm and positive; it should never read like a telling-off in story form.
- Keep the story and re-read it, and revisit it afterwards to talk about how it went.
For children with ADHD or autism
Social stories were developed with autistic children in mind and are especially powerful for them, but any child who struggles with new situations or anxiety can benefit. They work because they make the unknown predictable and spell out the social rules that do not always come automatically. Pair them with visual schedules and forewarnings for the smoothest possible preparation. This article is general guidance, not medical advice.
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Frequently asked questions
What is a social story?
A social story is a short, simple, personalised story that describes a situation, skill or event from the child’s perspective, explaining what will happen and what they can do. Developed by Carol Gray, it is used to prepare autistic and anxious children for new or tricky situations.
How do I write a social story for my child?
Keep it short, simple and first-person, in your child’s language. Be positive and accurate, describe more than you direct, use their name and real photos, and read it calmly several times before the event. Lean toward explaining what happens, with only a little gentle coaching.
What can social stories help with?
They help prepare children for new events, changes and transitions, teach social skills and expectations, reduce anxiety about the unknown, and explain the reasons behind rules. They are useful for anything from a dentist visit to a new school or learning to wait.
Are social stories only for autistic children?
They were developed for autistic children and are especially helpful for them, but any child who finds new situations or social expectations difficult can benefit, including anxious children. The same principle helps: making the unknown predictable and clear in advance.
How often should I read a social story?
Read it calmly several times in the days before the event, not just once, so it becomes familiar and reassuring. You can also revisit it afterwards to reflect on how things went, and keep it for next time the same situation comes up.
